after exam...after CHOICE

the last two weeks..a lot of things have taken place in my life..to be exact inside my mind...finally i have the time to start thinking about myself..doing all those self-reflection n etc..

after exam..i felt like i just finished one long journey..a tiring journey which constantly occupied me 100%...leaving me behind with no free time to wonder what is the purpose/aim of my actions...
it's like suddenly the engine stopped running after being overused for the whole semester..this is the first time that i am really glad that my semester is over..not only the exams..
after went through several days..thinking of what i have done for the last 4 months..there are many times that i feel so stupid..so silly..
what have i achieved for the last 4 months? have i returned anything to the ppl who have given so much to me?..do i wanna make a difference?

all these question...enforced again during my CHOICE weekends...which theme is relationship....do i want to have a better relationship with my family and friends?
should i initiate the first step?...again how to conquer the fear inside myself to open a new page in my life...will the ppl forgive for i have done?

another point: am i ready to open myself to love again? love the ppl around me who have showered me with their care n love...also the ppl who have hurt me..

vivie in her wondering state...