vivie in daze

hue
after my exam on wednesday...i have been really in daze n contine to make small mistake etc..
the list (the ones i can remember)
1. saw the monitor says "press the * button to continue" and i happily placed my book under the scanner without pressing any button, waiting for my books to be checked out(at central libra self-check out machine)
after that..just happily walked away leaving behind my matric card n the receipt
2. i happily swing my hands in front of normal type of taps which you have to press >_<...until the gal standing next to me said "i think you have to press the tap"...i thought the tap was the sensor type which you only need to place your hands under the tap
3. sitting in front of computer..without knowing what i am supposed to do(this attitude when i still have one more exam on monday!!)
4. forgot what bus no. i am taking..and forgot to alight at the correct bus stop..and what happened..i got lost when i happily just dropped off at the bus stop i thought i am familiar
5. wanted to go to Bugis but ended up at Somerset
6. keep handing in the wrong amount of money when i was paying something

argh...still in daze...doing something..but my mind always on other stuff..
what happen to my body and mind coordinatian...is it tha effect of exam??

dancing

huhehehe..supposed to be sleeping already..since i'm having my exam period now..but my eyes are wide open ..however my brain refuses to take in more info after one day of studying n was drained for my morning exams..
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dancing..that will be the main topic of this post...hueheheh..

i just realise this evening when my friends asked whether i still continue my kabuki dance class..n the answer of course...yup..i am still doing kabuki dance though the practise has not been reguler for the past one month..

n then the question makes me realise...
do i ever really stop my dance class...or at least..never do dance at all..i remember when i started my first dance class..it was back in primary one..
my sis joined earlier..n as usual i follow her steps everywhere...and so i joined the class..though in the end we were at different class...i belonged to the lower primary levels...n she joined the upper levels...i did my first dance performance in the following year..just a school performance..but i was super exited!! i was the only primary one gal..the other dancers were older than me....
yeay...i can wear the dance costume...*and all the other exitements* btw..the dance item was the betawi traditional dance (jakarta)..the following year..i did a few other performances..though they were not traditional dances..n few of them were for the school christmas celebration....

then...i moved to a traditional dance class..more professional level compared to the previous-it was just a dance class in my primary school...yeap..i learnt many dances - can't recall the number exactly..but at least 5/6 dances in one year - the dances are the one being performed by professional dancers.. i loved my dance class...i was very enthu everytime i went for the class..
putting on my sarung - all the gals must wear sarung wrapped around our bodies from the torso to the ankle/knee level..depending on the dance ---i am always fascinated by the balinese dancers....how wonderful the arms movement..i did learn 2 or 3 balinese dances..but too bad..i would be never selected to do the perfomances...with my small eyes..i can't do the eyes movement..no matter how many times i tried in front the mirror...

there were other dances too...from different regions around indonesia fan dance from sulawesi....peacok dance from west java...panji semirang n pendet from bali..salman from aceh....tari piring from sumatra...n others..i love the dances...especially the costumes....however..i stopped the dance class after i went down with illness..
my parents gave me a choice...continue my dance class..or joing my sis for organ class...n again...this sister-follower....chose the one with her sis...
and so that's the end of my indo traditional dance class..

but..that's not the end of my dancing...hehehe..i remember...everytime i heard music that can make your body move..i just jumped and did any dance steps following the music...almost everyday..anytime i heard music...n the jump getting longer n higher.
till my dad decided to shift all the furniture close to the wall ..so i had more space to jump n turn around..huehehehe....

n it continued on till i came to spore...
i didn't join the dance club in my new school..i was afraid that time because i never had any ballet background or similar dance...
i put my confidence when i moved to JC n did join the dance society.
yup..i love dance..but i am not the best dancer..sometimes my body can't move the way i want n often lose my balance - definitely can't be qualified for a dance master.anyway i did enjoy the dance class..though i found hard times..because we did a lot steps originated from ballet steps..so to compensate..i had to do strechting and all the ballet basic steps everyday..to shape my body...
after 1 year of works..i got better..can do splits, the jumps were not that terrible..though u can't call it so graceful...or my pointe..i can't bend my feet as much as other dancers...so.. i was part of the dance corps...never be the soloist...
nonetheless.i did learn new skills n happy with i did...

n finally in uni..
another type of dance...i wanted to join one of the dance clubs in NUS..there are a few of them ...with different styles..but then i think again..i did injured both knees, both ankles, both feet during my 2 year-dancing in JC..i am afraid i could not do all the steps perfectly...the kness definitely will give problems..theye are not strong enough to do jumps and grande jete which require the knee strength..
so i join another dance...which i never think i could be able to join..the KABUKI dance...okay..the one i did is not really called kabuki..it's called nihon buyo..it's related closely to kabuki and often becomes part of the dances performed during a kabuki play...n one thing...if u ever see a geisha dancing...yup..that's nihon buyo..the same type of dance that i am doing now...

n yet..this semester i take another dance class...
hueheheehehe...the partner dance type...i have always wanted to join since i saw it the first time...n now i can do it..yeay.i take salsa class....with my friends who join earlier..i never do partner dance before..n never being paired up for my dance performance back in JC..because i am simply too heavy to be lifted up (the gal must be below 50kg)..
so so..what i did n i still do?? i lead the guy who is my partner..hahaha.. the gal supposed to be the follower..n i happily always try to lead the guy..

okay...that's all....my dance story...huhehehe

hari raya celebration at sarah's house...

huehehehe..after watching SATC episode showing lilacs..now i feel like buy a lilac plant. definitely not for my room..this plant requires space...space...hehehe 

noraknya anak2 indo+beberapa anak exchange jepang.... 

the pic taken after the rosary prayer on 26 oct 2005 

update

haiz.....
supposed to finish up my essay and start on my project n definitely...do my REVISION..but again..after eating lunch..the eyes are threatening to drop soon..
another weekend to be spent in the room..plus waiting for people to contact me to do the experiment for my project.....haiz...

huehuhuhu..i am dreaming to have a weekend without opening my computer/book..

ok...enough of the whining n complaining.here are the updates from me

1. IA -> still no news yet, went for the interview like about 2 weeks ago and no news from the company yet.
2. salsa class -> no choice but need to be suspended for a while..till january next year - not planning to go during exam period n after that i am going home
3. school works -> this one..no ending...wait till my last paper on 28 nov
4. plans after exams -> already being booked from 29nov-4dec with cca stuff n retreat..so those who want to plan a trip/jalan2 with me....wait ah....
5. going home ->bought the promotional ticket : 11 dec - 1 jan..hope don't have to change the date..i will have to pay the fine if i make any changes on the flights' schedule...>_< because i chose to buy the promo ticket

at least for the moment...i can concentrate on my school works..no cca stuff to be worried *at the moment* after that...the planning for next sem etc will be waiting there..no need be kan chiong now..

okay..that's all from me..

~muach

the journey began 7 years ago

yup..
it was 7 years ago that i stepped into singapore for the first time..
i still can remember the day i left my parents for long period of time for the first time ..... leaving for singapore with my old and new friends - most of whom i never see the faces before
saying good bye to parents was the hardest thing..
i just celebrated my 15th birtday in less than 3 months and had just entered a new school ..getting to know new friends..suddenly my life would change..moving to a new place that was totally unknown to me..i did not even know about the new place i was going to...only know the fact the place is only 1.5 hour of flight from jakarta...the main language is english n mandarin.

the first scence of singapore in front of me ... "welcome singapore" sign outside Changi airport..so far so good..
then we arrived in the hostel that would be our living place for the next 2 months..
i always dreamt...once in uni i would stay in those hostels like in movies n storybooks..but the idea to stay in a hostel that is far from my home and being unable to go home any time i desire to was the worst...
most of us looked so confused..unsure what to do next..how our room would be like, who would provide our meals, how to get around, how and how..there was unending of "how, what..." throughout the nite..
the hostel: another shocked for me...all students there were preparing for exams and everywhere we stepped some one was reading, doing assesment...
then come the rules that we had to follow....including our study time, how many piece of clothes allowed to be sent for laundry!!...
the idea: you have to do your laundry, planning your meal etc...really put me in confused...the same thing occured on my friends..

the seniors who had come one year earlier, came down and taught us a lot of thing..how to get around and what to be expected in schools..
remember that year: mobile phones were still exclusive and out of 39 of us only less than five were accompanied with their parents..
the rest of us came alone..had to manage everything by ourselves by working together...

...........................
seven years have passed since that day...
i have adjusted to the new life i chose years ago..have learnt a lot of new things..esp how to take care of myself ... taking in new independence
in the despairs i endured . my friends are there for me..giving me supports and comforts..i learn the meaning of friendships..the importance of it..going through the rough journey together..handling one obstacle after another
one thing that i always remember: He is always be there for me...and my friends are my family here...
for the past 3 years ICy has continued giving a fresh air into my life ... by bringing me to closer to Him and reminding me that i am never be alone in this world..

hope all these will continue to strengthen me...to manage the obstacles in my life and to keep me to be hopeful always..

Yeah..happy birthday Delapan!!

Saturation point

after weeks of struggling to keep my mind calm and cool despite the numerous amount of works which come continuously..
plus exam just around the corner..
i have reached my saturation point for studying....have tried to keep myself busy so that i won't have time to wonder what am i doing all this time..
but this morning i woke up feeling down...what is the point of me doing all these?
what i have been doing is just trying to catch up with the datelines..putting any crap if needed in my report/essay....have i learnt anything..
though i don't hate any modules that i am taking - finally - but it makes me to wonder again...will these modules help me in future jobs? or just for me to get a degree..what is the point of having flying marks if i don't really enjoy and feel any usefullness of them??

i know i should be grateful because i have the chance to study at university and got the course that i wanted..
just that after weeks of studying and typing reports/essay for almost the whole semester...i just feel that i need a break..
but a break at this time is almost impossible...if i wanna go out with my friends..who would be free...everyone is busy with his/her study...which i am supposed to be doing also..
argh....why i denied myself to have a break when i had the chance..and i only realise when it is too late...

if i look back to this semester...the last time, i was out just for fun without doing some stuff for the cca or modules was in august...how long was that..
every time i was tempted to go out and just spend the whole day to go out..there was a hestitation in me and a feeling of guilty..and i suffer the consequences now..
feeling down and don't feel like to do anything..

i am tired of reading all the materials needed to write my reports/essays
tired to come for lecture and copying down any important details.
tired of sitting down in front of my computer to do my works...

i may be looked happy or at least not stressed from outside..
by the moment i stop doing something...the stress will just start pouring to my head..argh....

this is the last obstacle to finish the exams and to have a good break..
please..help me to pass this one..