bintan bintan....here we come

whoa...finally my wish for a Bintan trip is fullfilled.

Few years ago my friend and I planned to go Bintan but after we checked the price and our schedules, we decided not to go. after that we never talked about having a trip together again because she has been very busy since she starts working.

Then last year at our De'lapan gathering, one friend offered us to use his company chalet at Bintan Island for the next reunion.. since it will be our 10th anniversary (yeah, we came to singapore 10 years ago -> does that make us sound so old???). well anyway, the plan was again held back because all of us are on different schedules. some are busy in the beginning of the month, some have hectic works towards to the end of the month. so our 10th anniversary was just another lunch as previous anniversaries.

however, one girl really "want" to relax and get away from singapore for a weekend. or should I say she sounded a bit desperate because she has been working overtime for the whole weekdays and weekends every since she started to work. and so the preparation for bintan trip began... once the chalet booking is confirmed, then we can confirm how many people actually can come along.

after change date/time of staying at bintan back and forth. yesterday night, only 9 people is confirmed to be going for the trip. the rest are either not free or have relatives/families coming over to singapore. well..again..the timing as usual is hard to meet everyone's schedules.  so for those who miss this trip, don't worry...we can have another trip toegher (hahaha..perhaps for  our 15th or 20th anniversary)

yeah..we are shining now after putting on the saman costume (courtesy of pintu =)

saman

yep. i have been doing the saman dance from september =) and we have passed the audition for the International Student Night (ISN) next year..so those blue-purple knees and feet are not wasted for nothing..hehehe
all of us at least have bruised knees and/or feet from sitting in the position for too long..plus cramps ..which show that we don't have enough exercise all this time =P

the steps are not very difficult but the main point is that the dancers should move in uniform .. so we can impress the audience (hehehe..like the one we did for the audition..hehehe) because we haven't performed this dance previously for campus event.
yeah..the indon students have chosen to show different dances for every performance in the campus.
so far we have performed a balinese dance, a javanese dance, a minang dance n now the time for aceh dance(though i have to say that the dance is no longer in the original form as the one performed in its origin area) our version can be said as the one being performed by indon student who are overseas..i have seen the roughly similar steps being performed by indon students for international students' event in other countries.it's one of our many unique dances =)

oh ya, the indon students are performing "siti nurbaya" theatre production for our indo nite next year. but the rehearsal hasn't started because the scripts, dances etc are stilll under planning. can't believe this will be the 2nd time, we will have a big theatre production...despite we have less indon students in nus .we show that we can do it =)

sharing birthday cake

cooking

hehehe.... i haven't done cooking for so many weeks...don't include the instant noodle..that isn't really "cooking"..because just need to boil the noodle and pour the sauce.
why i haven't cooked my meals? because i have been out of the house most of the time. so i just buy food outside and plus i can eat more food varieties .. though there is one element that i miss...the chili!!! singapore food is not spicy or hot (hot chili).... hahah..the indons can't survive without chili =) ...
oh ya...rice also. it's our staple food.. the one we must have for daily meal.
i can't imagine not to eat rice..what else i can eat then? bread? potato? noodle? pasta?.. none of them tastes as good as rice. i remember during my summer holiday last year, i drooled over rice..white plain rice after going for holidays in Turkey for 9 days..
because i have always stayed in asian countries when rice is the staple food =)..i must really be thankful for that

plus lately i have been craving for japanese and korean food also. somehow i crave for the sushi taste and miso soup, also the kimchi taste. in other words, i crave for any food with strong taste..hahaha...i remember there was one day that i really craved sushi .. ate sushi for lunch n dinner...luckily sushi is not that expensive over here (can't say that they are cheap also lol).
i just ate saba mirin for lunch today and already plan to eat unagi for tomorrow lunch..hahaha.. the saba mirin is better than just saba in my opinion because they use sake+mirin for the sauce..so no more typical fishy smell for saba...
but, no many places sell saba mirin. most typical japanese food sold in singapore food court is the katsu set or the curry set... anyway fish/seafood dishes are more expensive that other foods in singapore... because singapore has to export seafood/fish hahaha...most of singapore food are imported lol...
so every time i go home, fish will become my main target. plus i prefer to eat fish because it's easier to swallow..hehehe..

am I strong??

am i seen as being a strong person...in the context being strong against any problems, being independent and having no problem in solving any situations.
perhaps that is the impression that people are getting from me...
i am seen as the person who stands up for her points hence she must be a strong person.

so they found out i had a HUGE problem till 4 months ago, they were surprised and had been always assumed that i just being disappeared from singapore for simple reason.
they never expected that i was being at the lowest point in my life.
nonethless, all my friends are being supportive to me and glad for me that i am better now..
guys (and girls also)..thank you for being there for me....specially those who supported me so much through sharing sessions...=)...love you all..muach muach

judgement....comparison...subjective??

being judgemental...comparing one person to another??
i think it happens to a lot of us..despite the fact that we are supposed to be objective towards others since everyone has his/her own ways and being unique...
sometimes, we simply judge a person based on a certain set of standards - which are commonly our own personal ones, from our point of view.

and even in some case, we also judge ourselves.
despite having more/extra stuff than most people, we think, or even believe that we are being lack in something. that we are not good enough. that we are supposed to be better in one thing or another. and eventually we are turning into a perfectionist. who demands highly from himself/herself and expected others to follow in suit.

it happened before to me and it hit me very badly. i lost the confidence in myself and believed that i have no capability at all, being the most useless human ever existed...
it really caused a lot of emotional damage to myself. after 3 months on the road to recovery, i can't say that i am okay yet. i still have a lot to do to "repair" myself and put myself back on my own shoes without looking down on my own self. hence when someone asks me if i am okay, i didn't answer that i am okay/well. but "i am getting better day by day..on the road to recovery".

mandarin lesson

hua..yesterday I have 4 hours of mandarin lesson which is equal 4 hours of tongue-twisting session..just learning the initials and finals and not forgetting the different tones (4 tones + the neutral tones)..
hahaha..ending up twisting my tongue till I couldn't straighten the tongue. because to say the pronunciation most of the characters, we have to roll up the tongue inside the mouth..and curl the lips for certain word such as "zhe, zhe..or yuan, nian"..also the "e" requires the tongue is to be curled inward...
hua..somehow i feel that english is much easier to pronounce (malay/indo nonetheless is still the easiest..perhaps because it is my mother tongue)..for non-malay/indo speaking the language is found to be difficult because the same words can have multiply meanings depennd on the word's usage in the sentences.
the same thing applied in chinese, I recalls how my mom often mentions that the same characted when is followed with various characters..the phrase may give very different meaning also. I think she must feel happy because I finally take up the mandarin course seriously and determine to learn it properly all over again.
Hopefully by the end of the semester I can speak in simple conversation using chinese =)

do I look different...different??

taken at the beginning of august..just before the new semester started =) still no signs of stress..

here is my latest photo...i still look the same though i have passed 5 years since entering NUS...yeah..it means i look young =)

revival!!

dearest all,
i haven't not updated my blog for ages already...almost a year since the last time i posted in this blog. i think most of friends knew that i was "missing in action"
being unreachable, uncontactable, suddenly missing from singapore and no news when will return to singapore.
sorry to make you all worried about me.
i am getting better and hopefully will be better than previously
now i am still in nus (no need to furnish further details i think) and praying that this will be my last semester.
i am taking 2 modules this semester so i can concentrate fully on both of them.
usually in the past when i used to take at least 5 modules, there was 1 or 2 modules would be so called a bit neglected because some modules "required" more attention and had more workload.
this time i am taking a language module..so it has quite a lot of hours - 6 hours per week of lesson in school. and on top of that i need to practise more at home.
for the lang. module, i still need to adapt to it. it has been long since i study a new language and has to memorise and practise the new vocabulary.
the last time i had it when i came to singapore 10 years ago. so it has been really a long time.
nonetheless, mandarin is a second language spoken in singapore and also in asia. so i need to master the language if i want to remain in asia.

oh ya, my mom is happy to know that i finally realise the importance of the language..hehehe. she has been persuading me to take up the language seriously ever since i enter uni. but i have been using the excuse "being super busy" to avoid taking language course. because i know how much hours i need to put in when learning a new language.

i like my chinese lecturer though, tomorrow i will have my 1st tutorial. though i can understand chinese lang. abit. but don't expect me to speak a full sentence because i am too shy to speak out. as you all know, chinese lang has more than 4 tones and i has always been mixing them up.
my first chinese tutor still remember how many time i kept pronounce the wrong tones and the sentences would have totally opposite meanings...and that happens like almost 20 years ago.
but she said, i was the only time who couldn't manage to remember the right tones.
hahaha..please..at the time, even i couldn't keep spell indo lang correctly...and i already started to learn mandarin. and sometimes i kept mixing up the grammars of both languages. plus the chinese characters are not easy to memorise.

so must work hard for the mandarin lesson!!
by the end of this semester i must be able to carry simple basic conversation..hehehe